Writing Goals

Organization: only one topic per paragraph even if the paragraph is short.

Sentence Fluency: only 50% of my sentences begin with subject verb. Use verbals.

Creative: Use a lot of voice. Also have meanings to characters names.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Donald Dragon: part one

Donald Dragon part 1
Trevor Raasch
1-15-09
I’m off to planet Zambonia to free the alien slaves! (All the people in the crowd are cheering loudly. Yeah! Go Donald! We love you!)
Who could’ve guessed that I, Donald Dragon, the man who just suffered from cancer a month ago diving 150 feet off a cliff into a pit of alligators to save a kitten. Is now freeing alien slaves from the most heavily guarded, dangerous space station in the Universe. Planet Zambonia. This may be my greatest adventure of all time. Even more epic than the day I stopped 6 robbers that were trying to break into Fort Knocks. That was the day I got the key to the city.
Well, I guess it’s time for me and my crew to go now. As I said to my wife and children. I tried to hold my tears back but I failed. I started to cry along with the rest of my family. Because I will be gone for about 4 years I had to say goodbye to everyone.
The day of departure: Alright crew, are you men ready to free some slaves!
Yeah, alright, let’s do this!! Shouts the crew.
As we all gathered into the very large rocket, I look down once more and I see a final glance of my family. They’re waving and crying. So am I.
3, 2, 1. Lift off! As we fly 25,000 mph into the night sky my crew and I are putting on our space helmets and suits. Space really is an amazing thing. It looks so beautiful at night, even though it’s dark year round. Now it’s 3 o’clock in the morning and I’m drifting off to sleep and right as I am about to drift off I hear a huge crash. I look out the ship window and then again I hear an even bigger crash. Well now everyone is getting kind of freaked out so we land the ship on Mars. By that time we all had our suits on and we walked outside. We searched for where the noise came from but we couldn’t find it. BOOM!!! Everyone screams and now we know where that noise was coming from. It came from over by our ship. Then suddenly I see dark tall shadows from behind the ship and I tell me crew to be quiet. I guess the creatures must have heard me too because all of a sudden the critters started to run away. I wasn’t thinking at the time so my first instinct was to chase them down. That had to be one of my smartest idea because as soon as I came within reach of one of them the three aliens along with six more came out with ray guns. They started to shoot at me but since I am extremely fast I out ran the bullets. I shouted at my crew to get their guns and shoot at the aliens. I can’t remember what happened after I got hit with some shrapnel in the back of the knee. I must have been knocked out for at least three hours. The next thing I knew we were hurling in space towards planet Zambonia.