Writing Goals

Organization: only one topic per paragraph even if the paragraph is short.

Sentence Fluency: only 50% of my sentences begin with subject verb. Use verbals.

Creative: Use a lot of voice. Also have meanings to characters names.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Civil War journal

September 1, 1863 2:53 p.m.: My troops of the Union are getting ready for the three day battle of Chickamauga and Chattanooga. They’re sharpening their bayonet’s and gathering ammunition for their weapons. My name is Ulysses S. Grant, I am a general for the north also known as the Union.

September 5, 1863 10:30 a.m.: This battle was going to be the turning point of this war. I was preaching this to my troops while they were gathering food and water. Only a few of the soldiers were believing what I was saying. Most of them were shaking their heads and snickering. I just seemed to ignore those non-believers.

September 19, 1863 8:45 p.m.: Tomorrow my troops and I were off to Chickamauga to start this battle off. To be honest I was extremely nervous. The Confederacy outnumbered us in every battle including this one. Therefore we are coming into this battle, the underdogs. However, I had confidence that this would be the extremely important battle that the Union was going to win. At least I hope it is.

September 20, 1863 10:53 p.m.: It was incredible! We won the battle of Chickamauga! It was exhausting and bloody. It lasted from 8:00 in the morning until about 10 o’clock at night. There we were in the dense woods near the Chickamauga River. Since we fought in woods we couldn’t see very well and the darkness didn’t help either. We were about to corner the Confederates until a charge was ordered by Braxton Bragg. Bragg was my arch enemy and I wanted to see him dead. This charge caught us by surprise so we retreated. However, this was all part of my genius plan. You see our sharpshooters were hiding on the hill and when I waved my sword they unloaded on the Confederates. They never saw it coming. By the time they tried to retreat we had them cornered and we took no prisoners. Now I know why Chickamauga is Cherokee for “River of Death.”

September 21, 1863 11:15 p.m.: Another excellent Union victory. However, this was day one of the battle Chattanooga. We fought in woods again but this time they weren’t as deep. I must say the Confederates were about to win this one. This mini battle, believe it or not, had no leadership. Because of the woods and thick brushes my troops retreated when I ordered them to charge. The Confederate charge must not have been very strong because once we turned around and started to shoot they lost all their momentum immediately. My troops decided to take out the Confederate’s right flank and they succeeded. I had no control in this battle, and I’m proud.

September 22, 1863 12:39 a.m.: At the end of the three day battle, the Union stand tall. We are victorious. This has been the greatest victory that I have ever endured. Like I said this was the turning point of the Civil War.

September 15, 1864 11:38 p.m.: We just captured Georgia. All because of our outstanding victory in Chattanooga. We opened a doorway to the deep south and we had captured Georgia. It looks like my prediction of this battle being the turning point of the war was correct.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The weekend party part 3

After that traumatic experience, we went back to Luke’s house. I wish that would have been the last of that horrible man. However, I can never be right. All of a sudden we heard a ring at the doorbell. This time we were prepared. I grabbed a baseball bat, Jake P grabbed another golf club, Joe H grabbed a rusted metal pole, Cal C grabbed some toxic spray from Luke’s closet, Luke took two ping pong paddles with sharpened handles, Ryan H took a butcher knife, and John C took a . We carefully ,quietly went up the stairs and opened the door with caution. We must have took a long time because no one was there. Although we saw the van parked at the end of Luke’s court. That’s all we saw. Suddenly there was a crash that came from the kitchen. We all took control of our deadly weapons and walked very steadily into the kitchen. The back door was open and we heard footsteps running on Luke’s back patio. I ran outside cause I wanted a piece of this old guy. However when I went outside no one was there, not even the white van.

Monday, April 19, 2010

The weekend party part 2

After all of us ran away, we took a breather in Ryan H’s backyard. So many thoughts were racing through all of our minds. No one knew what to expect from what just happened. That’s when we heard deep breathing and it was coming from the front yard of Ryan’s house. That’s when we spotted the man standing on the road. The light was just perfect so you could hardly see the man. He was walking towards us again, and Ryan tried to open his back door but it was locked. We turned around again and the man grabbed hold of my shirt. I would have screamed for my life but his dirty hand was over my mouth. When Ryan S found two golf clubs on Ryan’s porch he picked them up and tossed one to Jake and the next thing I saw was the man on the ground with two huge bruises on his forehead. If they wouldn’t of found a weapon I would have been gone with man to who knows where. I couldn’t believe it, I was safe.

The weekend party part 1

Over the weekend I went to Luke Mark’s house for the night. We played capture the flag, ghost in the graveyard, and much more exciting activities. When we were playing capture the flag we all saw this mysterious white van with no logo or anything on it. We didn’t think much of it until we saw it again on the same road when we played ghost in the graveyard. I was it and I was laying down on the ground and I saw the van again, except this time it was moving very slowly. I looked at it for a while and then it drove away. We all started to get kind of scared. Later that night we went outside again because Joe Henderson lost his phone. As we went to look for it, Jake Paget noticed the van again for the third time. When we all looked at the mysterious van it stopped right in front Luke’s house. All of a sudden it started to creep forward and then stopped again. All of our hearts were racing. Suddenly the rusty door swung backward and an old man with a big scruffy beard walked out. Jake P, and Joe H both said “What do you want?” The creepy man just kept walking towards us. That’s when Luke and I started to walk backwards at a quick pace. When he ran towards us that’s when we all booked it out of Luke’s driveway.